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Introduction to the Daily Meditation
With the mitzvah of counting the 49 days, known as Sefirat Ha'Omer,
the Torah invites us on a journey into the human psyche, into
the soul. There are seven basic emotions that make up the spectrum
of human experience. At the root of all forms of enslavement,
is a distortion of these emotions. Each of the seven weeks between
Passover and Shavuot is dedicated to examining and refining one
of them.
The seven emotional attributes are:
Chesed - Loving-kindness
Gevurah -- Justice and discipline
Tiferet - Harmony, compassion
Netzach - Endurance
Hod - Humility
Yesod - Bonding
Malchut - Sovereignty, leadership
The seven weeks, which represent these emotional attributes, further
divide into seven days making up the 49 days of the counting.
Since a fully functional emotion is multidimensional, it includes
within itself a blend of all seven attributes. Thus, the counting
of the first week, which begins on the second night of Pesach,
as well as consisting of the actual counting ("Today is day
one of the Omer...") would consist of the following structure
with suggested meditations:
Upon conclusion of the 49 days we arrive at the 50th day -- Mattan
Torah. After we have achieved all we can accomplish through our
own initiative, traversing and refining every emotional corner
of our psyche, we then receive a gift ('mattan' in Hebrew) from
above. We receive that which we could not achieve with our own
limited faculties. We receive the gift of true freedom -- the
ability to transcend our human limitations and touch the divine.
* * *
WEEK 1 - CHESED: LOVING-KINDNESS
Day 1 -- Chesed of Chesed: Loving-kindness in Loving-kindness
Love is the single most powerful and necessary component in life.
It is both giving and receiving. Love allows us to reach above
and beyond ourselves, to experience another person and to allow
that person to experience us. It is the tool by which we learn
to experience the highest reality -- God. Examine the love aspect
of your love.
Ask yourself: What is my capacity to love another person? Do
I have problems with giving? Am I stingy or selfish? Is it difficult
for me to let someone else into my life? Am I afraid of my vulnerability,
of opening up and getting hurt?
Exercise for the day: Find a new way to express your love to
a dear one.
Day 2 -- Gevurah of Chesed: Discipline in Loving-kindness
Healthy love must always include an element of discipline and
discernment; a degree of distance and respect for another's boundaries;
an assessment of another's capacity to contain your love. Love
must be tempered and directed properly. Ask a parent who, in the
name of love, has spoiled a child; or someone who suffocates a
spouse with love and doesn't allow them any personal space.
Exercise for the day: Help someone on their terms not on yours.
Apply yourself to their specific needs even if it takes effort.
Day 3 -- Tiferet of Chesed: Compassion, Harmony in Loving-kindness
Harmony in love is one that blends both the chesed and gevurah
aspects of love. Harmonized love includes empathy and compassion.
Love is often given with the expectation of receiving love in
return. Compassionate love is given freely; expects nothing in
return - even when the other doesn't deserve love. Tiferet is
giving also to those who have hurt you.
Exercise for the day: Offer a helping hand to a stranger.
Day 4 -- Netzach of Chesed: Endurance in Loving-kindness
Is my love enduring? Does it withstand challenges and setbacks?
Do I give and withhold love according to my moods or is it constant
regardless of the ups and downs of life?
Exercise for the day: Reassure a loved one of the constancy of
your love
Day 5 -- Hod of Chesed: Humility in Loving-kindness
You can often get locked in love and be unable to forgive your
beloved or to bend or compromise your position. Hod introduces
the aspect of humility in love; the ability to rise above yourself
and forgive or give in to the one you love just for the sake of
love even if you're convinced that you're right. Arrogant love
is not love.
Exercise for the day: Swallow your pride and reconcile with a
loved one with whom you have quarreled.
Day 6 -- Yesod of Chesed: Bonding in Loving-kindness
For love to be eternal it requires bonding. A sense of togetherness
which actualizes the love in a joint effort. An intimate connection,
kinship and attachment, benefiting both parties. This bonding
bears fruit; the fruit born out of a healthy union.
Exercise for the day: Start building something constructive together
with a loved one
Day 7 -- Malchut of Chesed: Nobility in Loving-kindness
Mature love comes with -- and brings -- personal dignity. An
intimate feeling of nobility and regality. Knowing your special
place and contribution in this world. Any love that is debilitating
and breaks the human spirit is no love at all. For love to be
complete it must have the dimension of personal sovereignty.
Exercise for the day: Highlight an aspect of your love that has
bolstered your spirit and enriched your life...and celebrate.
* * *
WEEK 2 - GEVURAH: JUSTICE, DISCIPLINE,
RESTRAINT, AWE
After the miraculous Exodus from Egypt, the Jewish people spent
49 days preparing for the most awesome experience in human history
-- the giving of the Torah at Mount Sinai. Just as the Jewish
peoples' redemption from Egypt teaches us how to achieve inner
freedom in our lives; so too, this 49-day period, called 'Sefirat
Ha-Omer' the Counting of the Omer, is a time of intense character
refinement and elevation.
During this time, the aspect of the human psyche that most requires
refinement is the area of the emotions. The spectrum of human
experience consists of seven emotional attributes, or sefirot.
This week we continue Sefirat Ha'Omer, utilizing the seven dimensions
of the seven emotional attributes. The first week after Pesach
was dedicated to examining the aspect of chesed, loving-kindness.
The second week corresponds to the emotional attribute of gevurah,
discipline or justice.
If love (Chesed) is the bedrock of human expression, discipline
(Gevurah) is the channel through which we express love. It gives
our life and love direction and focus. Gevurah -- discipline and
measure -- concentrates and directs our efforts, our love in the
proper directions.
Day 8 - Chesed of Gevurah: Loving-kindness in Discipline
The underlying intention and motive in discipline is love. Why
do we measure our behavior, why do we establish standards and
expect people to live up to them -- only because of love. Chesed
of gevurah is the love in discipline; it is the recognition that
your personal discipline and the discipline you expect of others
is only an expression of love. It is the understanding that we
have no right to judge others; we have a right only to love them
and that includes wanting them to be their best.
Ask yourself: when I judge and criticize another is it in any
way tinged with any of my own contempt and irritation? Is there
any hidden satisfaction in his failure? Or is it only out of love
for the other?
Exercise for the day: Before you criticize someone today, think
twice: Is it out of concern and love?
Day 9 -- Gevurah of Gevurah: Discipline in Discipline
Examine the discipline factor of discipline: Is my discipline
reasonably restrained or is it excessive? Do I have enough discipline
in my life and in my interactions? Am I organized? Is my time
used efficiently? Why do I have problems with discipline and what
can I do to enhance it? Do I take time each day for personal accounting
of my schedule and accomplishments?
Exercise for the day: Make a detailed plan for spending your
day and at the end of the day see if you've lived up to it.
Day 10 -- Tiferet of Gevurah: Compassion in Discipline
Underlying and driving discipline must not only be love, but
also compassion. Compassion is unconditional love. It is love
just for the sake of love, not considering the others position.
Tiferet is a result of total selflessness in the eyes of God.
You love for no reason; you love because you are a reflection
of God. Does my discipline have this element of compassion?
Exercise for the day: Be compassionate to someone you have reproached.
Day 11 -- Netzach of Gevurah: Endurance in Discipline
Effective discipline must be enduring and tenacious. Is my discipline
consistent or only when forced? Do I follow through with discipline?
Am I perceived as a weak disciplinarian?
Exercise for the day: Extend the plan you made on day two for
a longer period of time listing short-term and long-term goals.
Review and update it each day, and see how consistent you are
and if you follow through.
Day 12 -- Hod of Gevurah: Humility in Discipline
The results of discipline and might without humility are obvious.
The greatest catastrophes have occurred as a result of people
sitting in arrogant judgment of others. Am I arrogant in the name
of justice (what I consider just)? Do I ever think that I sit
on a higher pedestal and bestow judgment on my subjects below?
What about my children? Students?
Exercise for the day: Before judging anyone, insure that you
are doing so selflessly with no personal bias
Day 13 -- Yesod of Gevurah: Bonding in Discipline
For discipline to be effective it must be coupled with commitment
and bonding. Both in disciplining yourself and others there has
to be a sense that the discipline is important for developing
a stronger bond. Not that I discipline you, but that we are doing
it together for our mutual benefit.
Exercise for the day: Demonstrate to your child or student how
discipline is an expression of intensifying your bond and commitment
to each other.
Day 14 -- Malchut of Gevurah: Nobility of Discipline
Discipline, like love, must enhance personal dignity. Discipline
that breaks a person will backfire. Healthy discipline should
bolster self-esteem and help elicit the best in a person; cultivating
his sovereignty. Does my discipline cripple the human spirit;
does it weaken or strengthen me and others?
Exercise for the day: When disciplining your child or student,
foster his self-respect
* * *
WEEK 3 - TIFERET - HARMONY, COMPASSION
During the third week of Counting the Omer, we examine the emotional
attribute of Tiferet or compassion. Tiferet blends and harmonizes
the free outpouring love of Chesed with the discipline of Gevurah.
Tiferet possesses this power by introducing a third dimension
-- the dimension of truth, which is neither love nor discipline
and therefore can integrate the two.
Truth is accessed through selflessness: rising above your ego
and your predispositions, enabling you to realize truth. Truth
gives you a clear and objective picture of yours and others' needs.
This quality gives Tiferet its name, which means beauty: it blends
the differing colors of love and discipline, and this harmony
makes it beautiful.
Day 15 -- Chesed of Tiferet: Loving-kindness in Compassion
Examine the love aspect of compassion. Ask yourself: Is my compassion
tender and loving or does it come across as pity? Is my sympathy
condescending and patronizing? Even if my intention is otherwise,
do others perceive it as such? Does my compassion overflow with
love and warmth; is it expressed with enthusiasm, or is it static
and lifeless?
Exercise for the day: When helping someone extend yourself in
the fullest way; offer a smile or a loving gesture.
Day 16 -- Gevurah of Tiferet: Discipline in Compassion
For compassion to be effective and healthy it needs to be disciplined
and focused. It requires discretion both to whom you express compassion,
and in the measure of the compassion itself. It is recognizing
when compassion should be expressed and when it should be withheld
or limited. Discipline in compassion is knowing that being truly
compassionate sometimes requires withholding compassion. Because
compassion is not an expression of the bestower's needs but a
response to the recipient's needs.
Exercise for the day: Express your compassion in a focused and
constructive manner by addressing someone's specific needs.
Day 17 -- Tiferet of Tiferet: Compassion in Compassion
True compassion is limitless. It is not an extension of your
needs and defined by your limited perspective. Compassion for
another is achieved by having a selfless attitude, rising above
yourself and placing yourself in the other person's situation
and experience. Am I prepared and able to do that? If not, why?
Do I express and actualize the compassion and empathy in my heart?
What blocks me from expressing it? Is my compassion compassionate
or self-serving? Is it compassion that comes out of guilt rather
than genuine empathy? How does that affect and distort my compassion?
Test yourself by seeing if you express compassion even when you
don't feel guilty.
Exercise for the day: Express your compassion in a new way that
goes beyond your previous limitations: express it towards someone
to whom you have been callous.
Day 18 -- Netzach of Tiferet: Endurance in Compassion
Is my compassion enduring and consistent? Is it reliable or whimsical?
Does it prevail among other forces in my life? Do I have the capacity
to be compassionate even when I'm busy with other activities or
only when it's comfortable for me? Am I ready to stand up and
fight for another?
Exercise for the day: In the middle of your busy day take a moment
and call someone who needs a compassionate word. Defend someone
who is in need of sympathy even if it's not a popular position.
Day 19 -- Hod of Tiferet: Humility in Compassion
If compassion is not to be condescending, it must include humility.
Hod is recognizing that my ability to be compassionate and giving
does not make me better than the recipient; it is the acknowledgment
and appreciation that by creating one who needs compassion God
gave me the gift of being able to bestow compassion. Thus there
is no place for haughtiness in compassion.
Do I feel superior because I am compassionate? Do I look down
at those that need my compassion? Am I humble and thankful to
God for giving me the ability to have compassion for others?
Exercise for the day: Express compassion in an anonymous fashion,
not taking any personal credit.
Day 20 -- Yesod of Tiferet: Bonding in Compassion
For compassion to be fully realized, it needs bonding. It requires
creating a channel between giver and receiver; a mutuality that
extends beyond the moment of need. A bond that continues to live
on. That is the most gratifying result of true compassion. Do
you bond with the one you have compassion for, or do you remain
apart? Does your interaction achieve anything beyond a single
act of sympathy?
Exercise for the day: Ensure that something eternal is built
as a result of your compassion.
Day 21 -- Malchut of Tiferet: Nobility in Compassion
Examine the dignity of your compassion. For compassion to be
complete (and enhance the other six aspects of compassion) it
must recognize and appreciate individual sovereignty. It should
boost self-esteem and cultivate human dignity. Both your own dignity
and the dignity of the one benefiting from your compassion.
Is my compassion expressed in a dignified manner? Does it elicit
dignity in others? Do I recognize the fact that when I experience
compassion as dignified it will reflect reciprocally in the one
who receives compassion?
Exercise for the day: Rather than just giving charity, help the
needy help themselves in a fashion that strengthens their dignity.
* * *
WEEK 4 - NETZACH - ENDURANCE
During the fourth week of counting the Omer, we examine and refine
the emotional attribute of endurance known as Netzach. Netzach
means endurance, fortitude and ambition and is a combination of
determination and tenacity. It is a balance of patience, persistence
and guts. Endurance is also being reliable and accountable, which
establishes security and commitment.
Without endurance, any good endeavor or intention has no chance
of success. Endurance means to be alive, to be driven by what
counts. It is the readiness to fight for what you believe, to
go all the way. This, of course, requires that endurance be closely
examined to ensure that it is used in a healthy and productive
manner.
Day 22 -- Chesed of Netzach: Loving-kindness in Endurance
For anything to endure it needs to be loved. A neutral or indifferent
attitude will reflect in a marginal commitment. If you have difficulty
making commitments, examine how much you love and enjoy the object
that requires your commitment. Do I love my work? My family? My
choices? For endurance to be effective it needs to be caring and
loving. Does my endurance cause me to be, or seem to be, inflexible?
Does my drive and determination cause me to be controlling? Am
I too demanding? Do others (my employees, friends, children) cooperate
with me out of the sheer force of my will and drive, or out of
love?
Exercise for the day: When fighting for something you believe
in, pause a moment to ensure that it is accomplished in a loving
manner.
Day 23 -- Gevurah of Netzach: Discipline in Endurance
Examine the discipline of your endurance. Endurance must be directed
toward productive goals and expressed in a constructive manner.
Is my endurance and determination focused to help cultivate good
habits and break bad ones? Or is it the other way around? Does
my endurance come from strength or weakness? Does it come out
of deep conviction or out of defensiveness? Do I use my endurance
against itself by being tenacious in my lack of determination?
Exercise for the day: Break one bad habit today.
Day 24 -- Tiferet of Netzach: Compassion in Endurance
Healthy endurance, directed to develop good qualities and modifying
bad ones, will always be compassionate. The compassion of endurance
reflects a most beautiful quality of endurance: an enduring commitment
to help another grow. Endurance without compassion is misguided
and selfish. Endurance needs to be not just loving to those who
deserve love, but also compassionate to the less fortunate. Does
my determination compromise my compassion for others? Am I able
to rise above my ego and empathize with my competitors? Am I gracious
in victory?
Exercise for the day: Be patient and listen to someone who usually
makes you impatient.
Day 25- Netzach of Netzach: Endurance in Endurance
Everyone has willpower and determination. We have the capacity
to endure much more than we can imagine, and to prevail under
the most trying of circumstances.
Ask yourself: Is my behavior erratic? Am I inconsistent and unreliable?
Since I have will and determination, why am I so mercurial? Am
I afraid of accessing my endurance and committing? Do I fear being
trapped by my commitment? If yes, why? Is it a reaction to some
past trauma? Instead of cultivating endurance in healthy areas,
have I developed a capacity for endurance of unhealthy experiences?
Do I endure more pain than pleasure? Do I underestimate my capacity
to endure?
Exercise for the day: Commit yourself to developing a new good
habit.
Day 26 -- Hod of Netzach: Humility in Endurance
Yielding -- which is a result of humility -- is an essential
element of enduring. Standing fast can sometimes be a formula
for destruction. The oak, lacking the ability to bend in the hurricane,
is uprooted. The reed, which yields to the wind, survives without
a problem. Do I know when to yield, out of strength not fear?
Why am I often afraid to yield?
Endurance is fueled by inner strength. Hod of Netzach is the
humble recognition and acknowledgement that the capacity to endure
and prevail comes from the soul that God gave each person. This
humility does not compromise the drive of endurance; on the contrary,
it intensifies it, because human endurance can go only so far
and endure only so much, whereas endurance that comes from the
Divine soul is limitless.
Do I attribute my success solely to my own strength and determination?
Am I convinced that I am all-powerful due to my level of endurance?
Where do I get the strength at times when everything seems so
bleak?
Exercise for the day: When you awake, acknowledge God for giving
you a soul with the extraordinary power and versatility to endure
despite trying challenges. This will allow you to draw energy
and strength for the entire day.
Day 27 -- Yesod of Netzach: Bonding in Endurance
Bonding is an essential quality of endurance. It expresses your
unwavering commitment to the person or experience you are bonding
with, a commitment so powerful that you will endure all to preserve
it. Endurance without bonding will not endure.
Exercise for the day: To ensure the endurance of your new resolution,
bond with it immediately. This can be assured by promptly actualizing
your resolution in some constructive deed or committing yourself
to another.
Day 28 -- Malchus of Netzach: Nobility in Endurance
Sovereignty is the cornerstone of endurance. Endurance that encompasses
the previous six qualities is indeed a tribute and testimony to
the majesty of the human spirit. Is my endurance dignified? Does
it bring out the best in me? When faced with hardships do I behave
like a king or queen, walking proudly with my head up, confident
in my God-given strengths, or do I cower and shrivel up in fear?
Exercise for the day: Fight for a dignified cause.
* * *
WEEK 5 - HOD - HUMILITY
During the fifth week of counting the Omer, we examine and refine
the emotional attribute of Hod or humility. Humility -- and the
resulting yielding -- should not be confused with weakness and
lack of self-esteem. Hod or humility is modesty -- it is acknowledgment
(from the root of the Hebrew word "hoda'ah"). It is
saying "thank you" to God. It is clearly recognizing
your qualities and strengths and acknowledging that they are not
your own; they were given to you by God for a higher purpose than
just satisfying your own needs. Humility is modesty; it is recognizing
how small you are which allows you to realize how large you can
become. And that makes humility so formidable.
A full cup cannot be filled. When you're filled with yourself
and your needs, "I and nothing else", there is no room
for more. When you "empty" yourself before something
greater than yourself, your capacity to receive increases beyond
your previously perceived limits. Humility is the key to transcendence;
to reach beyond yourself. Only true humility gives you the power
of total objectivity. Humility is sensitivity; it is healthy shame
out of recognition that you can be better than you are and that
you can expect more of yourself. Although humility is silent it
is not a void. It is a dynamic expression of life that includes
all seven qualities of love, discipline, compassion, endurance,
humility, bonding and sovereignty.
Day 29 -- Chesed of Hod: Loving-kindness in Humility
Examine the love in your humility. Healthy humility is not demoralizing;
it brings love and joy not fear. Humility that lacks love has
to be reexamined for its authenticity. Sometimes humility can
be confused with low self-esteem, which would cause it to be unloving.
Humility brings love because it gives you the ability to rise
above yourself and love another. Does my humility cause me to
be more loving and giving? More expansive? Or does it inhibit
and constrain me?
Exercise for the day: Before praying with humility and acknowledgment
of God, give some charity. It will enhance your prayers.
Day 30 -- Gevurah of Hod: Discipline in Humility
Humility must be disciplined and focused. When should my humility
cause me to compromise and when not? In the name of humility do
I sometimes remain silent and neutral in the face of wickedness?
Humility must also include respect and awe for the person or experience
before whom you stand humble. If my humility is wanting, is it
because I don't respect another?
Exercise for the day: Focus in on your reluctance to commit in
a given area to see if it originates from a healthy, humble place.
Day 31 -- Tiferet of Hod: Compassion in Humility
Examine if your humility is compassionate. Does my humility cause
me to be self-contained and anti-social or does it express itself
in empathy for others. Is my humility balanced and beautiful?
Or is it awkward? Just as humility brings compassion, compassion
can lead one to humility. If you lack humility, try acting compassionately,
which can help bring you to humility.
Exercise for the day: Express a humble feeling in an act of compassion.
Day 32 -- Netzach of Hod: Endurance in Humility
Examine the strength and endurance of your humility. Does my
humility withstand challenges? Am I firm in my positions or do
I waffle in the name of humility? Humility and modesty should
not cause one to feel weak and insecure. Netzach of Hod underscores
the fact that true humility does not make you into a "doormat"
for others to step on; on the contrary, humility gives you enduring
strength. Is my humility perceived as weakness? Does that cause
others to take advantage of me?
Exercise for the day: Demonstrate the strength of your humility
by initiating or actively participating in a good cause.
Day 33 -- Hod of Hod: Humility in Humility
Everyone has humility and modesty in their hearts, the question
is the measure and manner in which one consciously feels it. Am
I afraid to be too humble? Do I mask and protect my modesty with
aggressive behavior? Humility must also be examined for its genuineness.
Is my humility humble? Or is it yet another expression of arrogance?
Do I take too much pride in my humility? Do I flaunt it? Is it
self-serving? Is my humility part of a crusade or is it genuine?
Exercise for the day: Be humble just for its own sake.
Day 34 -- Yesod of Hod: Bonding in Humility
Humility should not be a lonely experience. It ought to result
in deep bonding and commitment. There is no stronger bond than
one that comes out of humility. Does my humility separate me from
others or bring us closer? Does my humility produce results? Long
term results? Does it create an everlasting foundation upon which
I and others can rely and build.
Exercise for the day: Use your humility to build something lasting.
Day 35 -- Malchut of Hod: Nobility in Humility
Walking humbly is walking tall. Dignity is the essence of humility
and modesty. The splendor of humility is majestic and aristocratic.
Humility that suppresses the human spirit and denies individual
sovereignty is not humility at all. Does my humility make me feel
dignified? Do I feel alive and vibrant?
Exercise for the day: Teach someone how humility and modesty
enhance human dignity.
* * *
WEEK 6 - YESOD - BONDING
During the sixth week of counting the Omer, we examine and refine
the emotional attribute of Yesod or bonding. Bonding means connecting;
not only feeling for another, but being attached to him. Not just
a token commitment, but total devotion. It creates a channel between
giver and receiver. Bonding is eternal. It develops an everlasting
union that lives on forever through the perpetual fruit it bears.
Bonding is the foundation of life. The emotional spine of the
human psyche. Every person needs bonding to flourish and grow.
The bonding between mother and child; between husband and wife;
between brothers and sisters; between close friends. Bonding is
affirmation; it gives one the sense of belonging; that "I
matter", "I am significant and important". It establishes
trust -- trust in yourself and trust in others. It instills confidence.
Without bonding and nurturing we cannot realize and be ourselves.
Day 36 -- Chesed of Yesod: Loving-kindness of Bonding
Love is the heart of bonding. You cannot bond without love. Love
establishes a reliable base on which bonding can build. If you
have a problem bonding, examine how much you love the one (or
the experience) with which you wish to bond. Do I try to bond
without first fostering a loving attitude? Is my bonding expressed
in a loving manner?
Exercise for the day: Demonstrate the bond you have with your
child or friend through an act of love.
Day 37 -- Gevurah of Yesod: Discipline of Bonding
Bonding must be done with discretion and careful consideration
with whom and with what you bond. Even the healthiest and closest
bonding needs "time out", a respect for each individual's
space. Do I overbond? Am I too dependent on the one I bond with?
Is he too dependent on me? Do I bond out of desperation? Do I
bond with healthy, wholesome people?
Exercise for the day: Review the discipline in your bonding experiences
to see if it needs adjustment.
Day 38 -- Tiferet of Yesod: Compassion in Bonding
Bonding needs to be not only loving but also compassionate, feeling
your friend's pain and empathizing with him. Is my bonding conditional?
Do I withdraw when I am uncomfortable with my friend's troubles?
Exercise for the day: Offer help and support in dealing with
an ordeal of someone with whom you have bonded.
Day 39 -- Netzach of Yesod: Endurance in Bonding
An essential component of bonding is its endurance; its ability
to withstand challenges and setbacks. Without endurance there
is no chance to develop true bonding. Am I totally committed to
the one with whom I bond? How much will I endure and how ready
am I to fight to maintain this bond? Is the person I bond with
aware of my devotion?
Exercise for the day: Demonstrate the endurance level of your
bonding by confronting a challenge that obstructs the bond.
Day 40 -- Hod of Yesod: Humility of Bonding
Humility is crucial in healthy bonding. Arrogance divides people.
Preoccupation with your own desires and needs separates you from
others. Humility allows you to appreciate another person and bond
with him. Healthy bonding is the union of two distinct people,
with independent personalities, who join for a higher purpose
than satisfying their own needs. True humility comes from recognizing
and acknowledging God in your life. Am I aware of the third partner
-- God -- in bonding? And that this partner gives me the capacity
to unite with another, despite our distinctions.
Exercise for the day: When praying acknowledge God specifically
for helping you bond with others.
Day 41 -- Yesod of Yesod: Bonding in Bonding
Every person needs and has the capacity to bond with other people,
with significant undertakings and with meaningful experiences.
Do I have difficulty bonding? Is the difficulty in all areas or
only in certain ones? Do I bond easily with my job, but have trouble
bonding with people? Or vice versa?
Examine the reasons for not bonding. Is it because I am too critical
and find fault in everything as an excuse for not bonding? Am
I too locked in my own ways? Is my not bonding a result of discomfort
with vulnerability? Have I been hurt in my past bonding experiences?
Has my trust been abused? Is my fear of bonding a result of the
deficient bonding I experienced as a child?
To cultivate your capacity to bond, even if you have valid reasons
to distrust, you must remember that God gave you a Divine soul
that is nurturing and loving and you must learn to recognize the
voice within, which will allow you to experience other people's
souls and hearts. Then you can slowly drop your defenses when
you recognize someone or something you can truly trust.
One additional point: Bonding breeds bonding. When you bond in
one area of your life, it helps you bond in other areas.
Exercise for the day: Begin bonding with a new person or experience
you love by committing designated time each day or week to spend
together constructively.
Day 42 -- Malchut of Yesod: Nobility in Bonding
Bonding must enhance a person's sovereignty. It should nurture
and strengthen your own dignity and the dignity of the one you
bond with. Does my bonding inhibit the expression of my personality
and qualities? Does it overwhelm the one I bond with?
Exercise for the day: Emphasize and highlight the strengths of
the one with whom you bond.
* * *
WEEK 7 - MALCHUT - SOVEREIGNTY, LEADERSHIP
During the seventh and final week of counting the Omer, we examine
and refine the attribute of Malchut -- nobility, sovereignty and
leadership. Sovereignty is a state of being rather than an activity.
Nobility is a passive expression of human dignity that has nothing
of its own except that which it receives from the other six emotions.
True leadership is the art of selflessness; it is only a reflection
of a Higher will. On the other hand, Malchut manifests and actualizes
the character and majesty of the human spirit. It is the very
fiber of what makes us human.
Malchut is a sense of belonging. Knowing that you matter and
that you make a difference. That you have the ability to be a
proficient leader in your own right. It gives you independence
and confidence. A feeling of certainty and authority. When a mother
lovingly cradles her child in her arms and the child's eyes meet
the mother's affectionate eyes, the child receives the message:
"I am wanted and needed in this world. I have a comfortable
place where I will always be loved. I have nothing to fear. I
feel like royalty in my heart." This is Malchut, kingship.
Day 43 -- Chesed of Malchut: Loving-kindness
in Nobility
Healthy sovereignty is always kind and loving. An effective leader
needs to be warm and considerate. Does my sovereignty make me
more loving? Do I exercise my authority and leadership in a caring
manner? Do I impose my authority on others?
Exercise for the day: Do something kind for
your subordinates
Day 44 -- Gevurah of Malchut: Discipline
in Nobility
Although sovereignty is loving, it needs to be balanced with
discipline. Effective leadership is built on authority and discipline.
There is another factor in the discipline of sovereignty: determining
the area in which you have jurisdiction and authority.
Do I recognize when I am not an authority? Do I exercise authority
in unwarranted situations? Am I aware of my limitations as well
as my strengths? Do I respect the authority of others?
Exercise for the day: Before taking an authoritative
position on any given issue, pause and reflect if you have the
right and the ability to exercise authority in this situation.
Day 45 -- Tiferet of Malchut: Compassion
in Nobility
A good leader is a compassionate one. Is my compassion compromised
because of my authority? Do I realize that an integral part of
dignity is compassion? Tiferet -- harmony -- is critical for successful
leadership. Do I manage a smooth-running operation? Am I organized?
Do I give clear instructions to my subordinates? Do I have difficulty
delegating power? Do we have frequent staff meetings to coordinate
our goals and efforts?
Exercise for the day: Review an area where you wield authority
and see if you can polish it up and increase its effectiveness
by curtailing excesses and consolidating forces.
Day 46 -- Netzach of Malchut: Endurance in Nobility
A person's dignity and a leader's success are tested by his endurance
level. Will and determination reflect the power and majesty of
the human spirit. How determined am I in reaching my goals? How
strong is my conviction to fight for a dignified cause? How confident
am I in myself? Is my lack of endurance a result of my low self-esteem?
Do I mask my insecurities by finding other excuses for my low
endurance level?
Exercise for the day: Act on something that you believe in but
have until now been tentative about. Take the leap and just do
it!
Day 47 -- Hod of Malchut: Humility in Nobility
Sovereignty is God's gift to each individual. Hod of Malchut
is the humble appreciation of this exceptional gift. Does my sovereignty
and independence humble me? Am I an arrogant leader? Do I appreciate
the special qualities I was blessed with?
Exercise for the day: Acknowledge God for creating you with personal
dignity
Day 48 -- Yesod of Malchut: Bonding in Nobility
Examine the bonding aspect of your sovereignty. Healthy independence
should not prevent you from bonding with another person. On the
contrary: self-confidence allows you to respect and trust another's
sovereignty and ultimately bond with him. That bond will strengthen
your own sovereignty, rather than sacrifice it.
Does my sovereignty prevent me from bonding? Could that be because
of deeper insecurities of which I am unaware? Do I recognize the
fact that a fear of bonding reflects a lack of self-confidence
in my own sovereignty?
Exercise for the day: Actualize your sovereignty by intensifying
your bond with a close one.
Day 49 -- Malchut of Malchut: Nobility in Nobility
Examine the sovereignty of your sovereignty. Does it come from
deep-rooted inner confidence in myself? Or is it just a put-on
to mask my insecurities? Does that cause my sovereignty to be
excessive? Am I aware of my uniqueness as a person? Of my personal
contribution?
Exercise for the day: Take a moment and concentrate on yourself,
on your true inner self, not on your performance and how you project
to others; and be at peace with yourself knowing that God created
a very special person which is you.
After the 49 days of Counting the Omer, after having fully achieved
inner renewal by merit of having assessed and developed each of
our 49 attributes, we arrive at the fiftieth day. On this day
we celebrate the Festival of Shavuot, the giving of the Torah
(Matan Torah). After we have accomplished all we can through our
own initiative, then we are worthy to receive a gift (matan) from
Above which we could not have achieved with our own limited faculties.
We receive the ability to reach and touch the Divine; not only
to be cultivated human beings who have refined all of our personal
characteristics, but divine human beings who are capable of expressing
ourselves above and beyond the definitions and limitations of
our beings.
Excerpted from "A Spiritual Guide to Counting the Omer"
by Rabbi Simon Jacobson. This unique book is now available in
English and in Hebrew online at http://www.meaningfullife.com/product.asp?3=158