You’re Not a Failure — You’re in the Middle of Becoming You
In this week’s parsha, the Jewish people complete the Mishkan — a sacred, beautiful space they carried with them through the desert to connect with G-d. But here’s something surprising: for seven days, Moses built the Mishkan each morning — and then took it down each night. Only on the eighth day did he leave it standing. Why would he go through all that effort — building and dismantling again and again?
But this isn’t the only time we see something like this. The Midrash tells us that before G-d created our world, He actually created other worlds — and destroyed them. Then He created this one and said, “This is the one I desire.” Did G-d need practice? Did He make a mistake with the other worlds and then finally arrived at the right formula and then created this world? That premise is absurd because G-d doesn’t make mistakes. So why did He do it this way?
Both G-d and Moses were teaching us a crucial lesson about how to find inner peace. Here’s the lesson: (even) G-d built and rebuilt–and so can we. Sometimes life knocks us down; relationships get messy, careers get lost, or dreams fall apart. We mess up by giving into temptations or saying something we regret or slam a door in a fit of rage. In those moments, an inner voice (yetzer hara) creeps in and tells us, “you failed again, there’s no hope for you; why even try? you’re not good enough.”
But Jewish wisdom reminds us that even the most upright and honest person fails— BUT HE GETS UP! King Solomon said, A righteous person falls seven times and gets up, but the wicked stumble and stay down. (Proverbs 24:16) Falling is not failure, it’s part of growth. The only real failure is not trying again.
So, what holds us back? Despair; we give up, and it’s one of the yetzer hara’s (our inner, negative and destructive voice) most powerful weapons. It doesn’t merely want to get us to make bad choices or sin, it attempts to convince us that we’re beyond fixing. A Chassidic teaching says that the goal of the yetzer hara isn’t just to make bad life choices and trip you up, it’s to get you so down on yourself that afterward that you stop moving and give up hope.
Here’s something I’ve unfortunately heard often over the years: “Rabbi, you don’t understand, I am a failure. Everything I touch turns to mud. What use is there in even trying to repair my relationships with family members or find a decent job or give up drinking or smoking weed?” Some people think that they have made so many mistakes in life that they may as well give up, but they are wrong. You don’t have to stay down, and you don’t have to do it alone. So, what should a person do when he or she is sad, despondent, or depressed?
Talk to G-d. Yes, pray. Speak to Him in your own words. Tell Him you feel stuck, broken, overwhelmed, unsure if you’ll ever get it right. Tell Him what you’re afraid of. Tell Him what you’re dreaming of and ask for help. One of the most liberating realizations in life is that I don’t have to do it alone. Judaism doesn’t demand perfection; it invites correction and connection. Getting up again — and again, and realize that each time you rise, you become stronger, wiser, and more deeply connected to your truest self. In short, if you have failed at relationships, dieting, or anything else, it’s okay to keep failing just to make sure you don’t give up. Learn from each failure and keep moving on and remember King Solomon’s wise words that even the greatest people fall–but they get up.
G-d didn’t give up after the first “world” and Moses didn’t give up after building the Mishkan once. And neither should we — not on ourselves, not on others, and not on what’s still possible.
Good Shabbos — and keep building.
(Sources: Rashi, 7:1; (Bereishis Rabbah 3:7; Yesod HaAvoda, brought in Nesivos Shalom I:93)